My publisher sent me an email expressing concern about my near total absence of promotion. Yes, I know. But I’m going to. Tomorrow. I’ve been meaning to do exactly that, tomorrow. No excuses, but reasons you see.
I had some major health issues for a period of time. I took some time off. I needed it. Then my friend died. I gave myself time to grieve. After all, I was entitled. There were a few things that dominated my time with my nonprofits but that was only for a couple of weeks until I got the fires under control… although it stretched into several. Then there were… I could list many other things, but they’re just variables. In the beginning they might have had a purpose, or a meaning, but that’s long gone. Even as I write this, I struggle to find a position that I can find some degree of comfort, some measure of respite from the slicing pain in my leg. But no more. If had been the first week, the second even, it might have been valid. Now?
The lyrics haunt me from the old Denver song:
Time as I’ve known it
Doesn’t take much time to pass by me
Minutes into days turn into months turn into years
They hurry by me
Suddenly I realize that Colleen died in October, my hospital stay ended in November, the new year came and went, I stepped down from the board in February, Charles died in March… Shit. It’s July. F* July! And I get an email saying pull your head out of your ass, get your life together, and get with it. Or as my old First Sergeant said often, “Get your shit together in one bag and behind you!”
What? But I’ve been doing a lot. Besides dealing with adversity, I’ve been…
STOP! Have you ever heard of the card game named “Bullshit”? Well, I’m calling Bullshit! On myself! Mind you I’ve never asked for sympathy, not even once. I’ve just been… STOP! Bullshit! Okay, I’m just sayi… STOP! Bullshit!
One is a goose, two is geese. One is a deer, two is still deer. One is an alligator, two is a congregation. One is an ape, two is a troop. One or two is a reason. Three or four are excuses. My list? It’s called “BULLSHIT!”
And so now I endeavor to rewrite the schedule. Rather than place a reminder in my head that I’ll accomplish this task or that task, I’ve already got them entered into my calendar, and will continue to do so. Not only that, but instead of a reminder that pops up, I’ve got each one with a reminder the day before and one hour before as well. And not just major deadlines. The daily bits and bobs are there as well. Even the mundane things that thank goodness I’ve not eschewed, such as making sure I spend the minimum time actually writing each day. And if I’m alive, even after a day of death, mayhem, and destruction, there will be at least a half hour of writing once my body hits the sheets. It’s not like I can fall asleep instantly anyway. That I take care of with a to-do list of check boxes.
So that’s my rant for today. I’m not saying that I won’t spread anymore bullshit. I’m a fiction writer and camp story teller for goodness sake! Just no more excuses. And by the way, “Coming of Age” is out. It was the first book I wrote, and the 4th to be published by Shadoe Publishing.