“Further Into Fire” – A Gross Misunderstanding

<< Kathleen kept walking closer and closer to the edge. Personally, I’m not so good with heights, but I knew she must have been up that high many times as a firefighter and then being in the rescue flights. Then the knot in my stomach began to tighten. Kathleen kept moving about a half step at a time, slowly, steadily, ever closer to the rim. Suddenly it hit me like a ton of bricks.
I ran up close to her and wrapped my arms around her, squeezing her tightly.
“What the heck are you…” she sputtered.
“I promised before God and witnesses that I would be with you forever,” I answered.
“What are you talking about? Are you crazy? Let go of me. Back off! You know you’re afraid of heights!”
“I don’t care. You’re not backing out on me. You’re not going to, you hear me?”
“What do you mean?” she cried out.
“I know what you’re doing. If you do it, you’ll leave me with the terrible feeling in my heart that I actually watched you. Think about that. You say you love me, but everything you’ve done since the crash, everything you’ve said, everything…You’re trying to throw me away. How will breaking my heart so hard it will never mend show me that you really love me?”
“You don’t understand!” she threw back at me.
“Oh, don’t I? Well, how about you explain it, so this little old Texas girl can grasp it a little better? Can you do that, Kathleen? Do you really think that me watching you die is going to make me happy?”
“Who said anything about dying?” she cried.
“Here. Let’s make this easy. You take a step, I’ll take a step, you, me, you, me…And when we get to the edge, we’ll both go together, like Romeo and Juliet.”
“Bella, for God’s sake! Back off!”
At that point, I remember being pushed backwards, falling on my ass, then hitting my head on something buried in the snow, much the same way as the night I met my beautiful Kathleen: the firefighter…the paramedic…the fighter of wrongs and evils…the giver of all to everyone before helping herself…the magical wonder. Then, everything went crimson, then black…totally black.  >>


Although Kathleen and Bella are actually near a cliff, each has different thoughts on being there. In reality Kathleen has no intention of harming herself or anyone else, yet Bella is keenly aware of Kathleen’s current moods and has been keeping a watchful eye on her, which is why she reacts as she does. We all need to keep a watchful eye on our families, friends, coworkers, church family, or even others on social media—whoever may be around us. Look for the signs of someone in trouble. Don’t just ignore calls for help or signs of despair. You may just save a life!

My Homepage – hollyaneweaver.com
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Books by HollyAnne Weaver:
 Coming of Age
 Falling Into Fire
 Further Into Fire
 Leaving Afghanistan Behind
 The Plaid Skirt
 After Sasha

AudioBooks by HollyAnne Weaver:
 Coming of Age

Tests of Courage

In our lifetime, many of us will look at things other people do and say, “How brave!” But often it’s not those things that truly show bravery. Kathleen Pope had been both a firefighter and paramedic for city of St. Paul, Minnesota, and found herself as an EMT in a State Highway Patrol air ambulance when things went wrong—terribly wrong! She found that battling back from death’s door was the second hardest thing she ever did. Dealing with feelings of uselessness and being unwanted and ugly, having several feet of scars, all the while unable to work, never knowing if she could ever be a useful member of society, was even worse.
And how often do we speak of the bravery of the family members and loved ones who have to carry on with life, picking up the pieces, often in the face having to raise families on their own, and consider that bravery? Kathleen’s wife, Bella, had to do just that, having just found out that their work withe the fertility clinic was a success.
Further Into Fire dances in and out of this question time and time again, and just when you think the waters are starting to calm, the storm hits again. Please read this sequel to Falling Into Fire. The first book just got the motor going, but this book really goes for the ride!

My Homepage – hollyaneweaver.com
Follow Me on Facebook

Books by HollyAnne Weaver:
 Coming of Age
 Falling Into Fire
 Further Into Fire
 Leaving Afghanistan Behind
 The Plaid Skirt
 After Sasha

AudioBooks by HollyAnne Weaver:
 Coming of Age

Coming of Age – My First Audiobook – is Now Out!

Thanks to the extraordinary talents of Ms. Megan Green, Coming of Age, the first book I managed to get down onto pages, is now available as an Audiobook! It’s quite exhilarating while at the same time strange to hear my words in a voice other than mine. It was an interesting process that was very different that the normal editing machinations that I’m used to, but it didn’t kill me so it must not have been too bad, I reckon. At least if I get the opportunity to do another one I won’t be going through the process of ordination during the same time frame, along with all of the activities that entails including traveling out of state for the ceremony.

My Homepage – hollyaneweaver.com
Follow Me on Facebook

Books by HollyAnne Weaver:
 Coming of Age
 Falling Into Fire
 Further Into Fire
 Leaving Afghanistan Behind
 The Plaid Skirt
 After Sasha

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Further into Fire; the Dramatic Sequel to Falling into Fire Has Finally Been Released!

 

Kathleen Pope, firefighter turned EMT and now flying with the Minnesota Highway Patrol’s Flight Section, and her wife, Belladonna, a business woman who moved to St. Paul four years ago. Up until now the couple had experienced a fairy-tale, whirlwind courtship and a carefree life. All that was about to change. The helicopter that Kathleen is flying in loses power and hits a power line upon takeoff just after loading an accident victim two hours north of Minneapolis-St. Paul. At the very beginning Bella is notified that her wife has been in an accident. From the very first page, Bella and Kathleen have to deal with the exposed, cold, raw, and ugly emotions and physical difficulties that are the down side of even the most blessed lives that everyone lives. The processes and heartaches that are involved when going through terrific tragedies of injuries and deaths are not simple and are not something that are navigated in a single instant.

Follow the lives of Kathleen and Bella from the book, “Falling Into Fire” in this exciting and dramatic sequel. Much like our own lives, we are reminded that nothing is for certain, nothing is written in stone; everything in our lives no matter how perfect it may seem in this moment can change in the blink of an eye.

My Homepage – hollyaneweaver.com
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Other books by HollyAnne Weaver
Falling into Fire
Leaving Afghanistan Behind
The Plaid Skirt
After Sasha
Coming of Age

MI22ION is as important now as ever! Support our veterans! http://www.mission22,com

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The Complexities of Life and Romance Novels

In “Falling Into Fire”, as I’ve previously stated, the book was written because of the ultimate tragedy, involving loss of life, and to show that life was capable of being good after that. Melanie was in fact Kathleen’s tragedy, yet she survived it. This book was intentionally pushed toward a sweet romance, and was written for someone special, which can be read in the forward. Very few lives of course are lived in this much of a sweet, romantic way perhaps, but I tend to write this style because if everybody just wanted a shit-load of bad news they could simply turn on any television; there is plenty of carnage and trauma to be witnessed, both home and abroad.

With the advent of the internet and satellite communications not only are we more educated about the world around us, but in a way we are not only becoming immune to the drama but are expecting it. I’m certainly not casting aspersions on the diagnosis of ADD, but what would happen if kids movies weren’t non-stop, eye-jerking sensory overloads? What if from birth now we actually turned off video games and phones and computers for two hours every day? And what if we adults did it? What if we didn’t need constant *noise*? Most of you reading this read a lot and will laugh, because this isn’t written for you. How can we get everybody around us to start this on the right path?


  I found a quiet corner of the Station and pulled out my phone. I decided to text message Bella instead of talk out loud so that I could get a little more intimate. We chatted for almost thirty minutes.
  It had been a very interesting day for Bella. A little after noon, somebody rang the doorbell. She hobbled over to the door, and a youngish woman she’d never met before was standing on the porch. When Bella opened the door and asked her if she could help her, the other woman asked her where I was. Bella told her I was on shift. The other woman said that Bella had better not be lying and that I’d better not actually be home. Taken a little bit aback, Bella told her that she was free to go to the Station and see me there if she thought it was that important.
  The other woman started crying and said she had to talk to me, that it was sort of an emergency. Bella told her that she didn’t know what else to say or do, but that I wasn’t home. Then the other woman suddenly got very belligerent and shouted, “Who in the hell do you think you are, bitch?” Bella held up her hand with the ring on it and said that she was the woman that was going to marry me next week. Then Bella looked the other woman squarely in the eyes, and said that she must be Melanie.
  Melanie’s shoulders slumped, she started crying even harder, and she fell down to sit on the steps of the porch. Bell hobbled out on her crutches and told Melanie that the past was the past, that there were no grudges, but that I’d moved on and that Melanie needed to as well. Melanie wiped her eyes a few times with the her gloved hands and said that she was sorry to have bothered her and got in her car and left.
  I texted Bella to call 9-1-1 if Melanie ever came back for any reason and not open the door to talk to her. Bella said that it was clear to her that Melanie was clearly in love with me still and had some issues, and didn’t see the need to have the police involved. I told her to at least watch out and be careful. I was scolded and Bella told me that she was a big girl and could fend for herself relatively well. She reminded me that she didn’t have my brawn, but she had lightning fast mental skills and could think and talk her way out of most situations. I did have to give Bella that. She was sharp, all right.
~Falling Into Fire

My Homepage – hollyaneweaver.com

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A Taste of My Own Medicine

In my coming book, Further Into Fire, Kathleen and Belladonna, who have had practically a fairy tale life until this point from the book Falling Into Fire, face the trials and difficulties most people undergo in everyday life. From the opening paragraph forward, there are many obstacles they have to overcome, one after another. Will their love for each other be strong enough to keep them together?

I’ve been meaning to write a new page in my blog for nearly 2 months now.  I have some health issues. Relatively serious, but not life threatening. And between that and other commitments, I’ve often said to myself, “Tomorrow, for sure, I’ll do it tomorrow.” And yet, here I am, sitting here with so much time having passed by me. It stops now. Especially after what I’ve just told you about my coming book. It’s time to take my own medicine. We had a phrase in the Air Force when somebody was capable but didn’t have the motivation to return to work after an injury. “Fill them full of beans, pat ‘em on the butt, and send them back to the front!” So I’m doing just that; I’m eating something akin to beans, I’m going to sit here on my butt until I’ve completed this, and I’ll be back at the front.

Thank you all for being so patient with me and continuing to support me.

Hols

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Falling Into Fire ~ A Sweet Love Story

“Falling Into Fire” is a sweet love story that was born out of a tragedy. This is the back story, as told to a friend in a letter.
•ʘ• •ʘ• •ʘ•
I met Nöel Stensbeck here in Minnesota. Her girlfriend’s name was Sofía Santiago. She’s 33 years old now, and originally from Texas. She’d met the love of her life there in 2006. Sofía was of Mexican and American Indian descent, and grew up in Albuquerque. Sofía was a year and a half younger than Nöel. They were both raised Roman Catholic. Sofía never had the courage to tell her parents that she was gay, knowing that they were extremely biased against homosexuality. Nöel’s parents knew she was gay, but were completely unsupportive although she really didn’t care that much. At least Nöel’s sister was okay with her. Anyway, Nöel didn’t let it ruin her life. They were sitting at home in their apartment in San Antonio where they were going through their respective Master’s programs at UTSA one Saturday afternoon and Sofía’s family showed up on their doorstep for a surprise visit. It was more of a surprise than they knew. They asked them in, of course, but they couldn’t very well conceal the fact they were together anymore since there were photographs all over the apartment of the two of them doing everything imaginable around town and out on vacations. Not to mention it was a one-bedroom apartment. They finally told them that we were lesbians and that they were in love and had been for quite some time. Shit hit the fan big time and all Sofía got was the lecture on how she was going to straight to hell and she was going to be excommunicated. They also didn’t like the fact that Nöel was Caucasian and involved with their daughter. The entire time they’d been together, Nöel and Sofía attended Mass regularly, staying very devout even though they disagreed on the Vatican’s stance on homosexuality, but had shown no outward signs to anybody from the Church. All their friends knew and Nöel’s family, but that was it. And of course, Nöel’s mother always thought it was a phase that would pass. That afternoon some pretty ugly things were said and things were thrown inside their apartment by Sofía’s father. He did a lot of damage to the inside of the apartment. Nöel was always very afraid for Sofía because she was unable to let go of the pressure of her family. The surprise visit came during May 2010, after they’d had been together for four years and living together for two. Exactly one week later to the day, Nöel came home to find that Sofía had succumbed to the pressure and taken her life. Nöel went through some serious depression. About a month later she voluntarily committed herself to a center for treatment for a month. She became functional again, but couldn’t stand another minute in Texas. So she took all the money she had, loaded her car with her clothes, their cat, and all the photos of her and Sofía, and left for Minnesota, since Minnesota is a very gay-friendly state. I actually met Nöel at the wedding of Rod, a man I worked with, and his partner Howard. To this day, Nöel struggles daily. Even after years of therapy, she can’t get into the swing of life. She’s actually dated a few women here, since there’s a large and openly supportive gay community here (not to mention support for them from the community in general), but she can’t ever make it past the second or third date because she can’t let go of Sofía. Nöel and I email periodically. She listens to me missing Becky and I listen to her about Sofía. One day, maybe, one of us will heal properly. For me, I would give up my own healing if it would give her my energy to heal her. Gladly I wrote this book in memory of Sofía, and had it printed and bound to give to Nöel for Christmas. I worked hard on it to get it done in time, but it was also therapeutic for me to keep my mind off my own woes and troubles. We met up after work on the 26th, and I gave her the printed and bound book. She broke down crying, holding the book to her chest, sort of rocking back and forth for about three hours. I was sitting on the couch with her with my arm around her, just watching TV. She finally fell asleep like that. I covered her up with a blanket laying her down flat on the couch, and grabbed another blanket and a pillow and slept in front of her couch there on the floor, just in case she needed anything. When I got ready to publish the book, I emailed her and asked her if I could. She said of course, it was mine. I explained to her that no, it was hers. I’d tried telling her that the night I gave her her copy. I wasn’t giving her just the paper document. I kept the copyright, but it basically was my present to her. In the cover, there is a dedication to her old girlfriend, which reads “In loving memory of Sofía Lupíta Elena Santiago de Vasquez, a victim of hate.” I also told her I wanted to keep the dedication in the book when I published it, which made her very happy.
•ʘ• •ʘ• •ʘ•

http://www.hollyanneweaver.com

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“Falling Into Fire” ~ My New Book

My newest book is here!

Kathleen Pope is a St. Paul, Minnesota, firefighter who is just beginning to recover from having her heart ripped out by her ex-girlfriend.  Belladonna Ward is a newly graduated Master of Accounting and Finance from Houston who has fled her mother’s constant nagging about her life being easier if she would just hurry up and get through her “gay phase”.  The first ice storm of the year teaches Bella she has a lot to learn about walking across slick parking lots with sacks of groceries, but luck gives her a break when it’s Kathleen that’s standing in front of her when it happens.  Kathleen drives her to an emergency room where each starts having feelings for the other in the worst way.  More than just sparks, an entire electrical storm is brewing!

http://www.hollyanneweaver.com

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“Normal”

◊◊ They practically kicked me out on the curb, and I asked them why they wouldn’t come in for a minute. Dad said it would be best if I ran inside and made sure she was decent. “Right, I didn’t even think about that.”

“Trust me, when you’ve been married to your woman for as many years as I have mine, you’ll know these things.” ◊◊

 

From “Coming of Age”.

There are certain things that are universal; they’re true the world over, not just in the little sphere that each of us calls home. This excerpt from “Coming of Age”, my latest release, exemplifies this. Whether you are ‘straight’ or ‘non-conforming to the gender normative’, you always check to see if your partner of whatever capacity is appropriately dressed, and I mean in their opinion, not yours, and give them at least a moment’s notice when you bring in visitors. Since Sophie and Pam are newly partnered this would especially be important, Even if it is the Sophie’s parents and they’ve all met and get along famously. However, as I have come to learn over the years, even if the couple had been together for quite some time, if it was a late hour, it would be a nice gesture to give your partner a little warning. It was a last second thought, but it would have even better to have phoned from her mobile phone somewhere during the drive over, giving Pam more time to straighten either herself or the apartment up if needed. It’s all up to the people in the relationship of course. I’ve got a list of the things like this I’ve compiled over the years. It’s not a long list but just the same, I’ll only mention a couple of them here.

  • Even jokingly, don’t put your partner down often. A little jab here or there might be funny, but repeatedly doing so can have a heavy toll that you’ll never know about. Just no!
  • No matter how long you’re together, never stop saying please and thank you. If this is the most important person in your life, why would you be less polite to that person than a stranger? This holds especially true if you have children. They learn by example.
  • Everybody has heard the adage about never going to bed mad. It’s good advice but hard to do. Go ahead and go to bed angry if you must, but at least do it civilly. Don’t be aggressive, don’t be on the attack, and don’t try and prove your point, but be able to say to each other, in spite of the madness, “You are the most important person in my life, and I love you.” Don’t give your partner the cold shoulder even if they are in your opinion being totally unreasonable in your disagreement. That solves nothing, but can easily create a chasm that can’t be bridged, simply because of a disagreement.
  • Physical and/or mental inability not-withstanding, even if you’re working all the hours on the planet, help out at least a tiny bit around the house. This one thing can be incredibly important and make your partner feel so much more important.
  • Even if your method, your driving direction, your favorite way to cook something, your favorite restaurant… Whatever. Even if you are correct, in the end, will it hurt anything? Will it maybe go a long way toward reinforcing your relationship, and help ensure that it will be stronger and last longer? Why not do some of these things occasionally?

That’s five from the top of my head. They’re not hard to do. Truly, they’re not. So how exactly does this tie in to my title, “Normal”, and what’s the point I’m making other than the shortlist of specific things to do to be kind to your partner? I eschew labels. As my greatest of friends Clau says, “F*** labels!” I know being a lesfic writer, this is preaching to the choir… But us gay folks? We’re ‘normal’. It may not feel like it in the current socio-political atmosphere in this country, but hang in there. It won’t last forever. In the meanwhile, don’t stop doing the things we’ve been doing to support the community and further our complete and full integration into society, and to get equal rights to everything, including careers, pay, health issues, etc. Just like the replacement to the Affordable Health Care Act, we don’t have to win: for now, let’s just keep our voices heard and not lose.

I bid you peace,

HollyAnne

“Coming of Age” and other books by HollyAnne weaver can be purchased by going to the links on the following page:
http://www.hollyanneweaver.com/index.html

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